In every relationship, it’s OK to cut down your transparency from 100% to 90% or 80% depending on the kind of partner that you have. The reason is because some people can’t just handle the truth. But it doesn’t make them bad people or bad partners; they’re not just wired to be calm or stay sane in the face of certain revelations.
But no matter how bitter some situations are, keeping them away from your partner will only ruin that beautiful and sweet relationship that you have.
There are some secrets that you should never hide from your partner especially when they could prove damaging to your relationship.
Here are some of those secrets you should never keep from your partner:
1. Your medical information/health status
When you get into a relationship, your medical history matters a lot. In fact, it’s one of the things that people use to decide if they’re willing to have something serious or whether someone’s medical state is too much for them to handle.
You should let your partner know about chronic conditions like asthma because they will be the ones to help you when something happens. Other conditions like HIV/AIDS and STDs such as herpes need to be talked about even before you start dating.
2. Your relationship expectations
Relationships easily break because of mismatched family goals. Some of them might have been inevitable but there are many that would have survived if there was better communication.
An example is when your partner doesn’t want kids but you know you secretly do. Don’t try to say something just to make them happy because they need to know what your real perspective is.
3. The child(ren) you have
People who decided to hide the fact that they had kids from past relationships eventually regret it. It reflects poorly on your character and it’s also neglectful for you to do that as a parent.
If you have children, just mention it and don’t keep those details hidden because the truth will eventually come out one day and it will not end well.
4. Major career plans
Dating or getting married means that your lives and goals merge into one. Your career moves will have an impact on each other so this isn’t something to hide.
For instance, if you know that you’re planning to move to a new country for work or school, let them know early. It’s not fair to just mention it when you’ve already decided and started planning for it, or when you’re in the last stages before relocating.
5. All your relationship fears and worries
Stories where a wife or husband suddenly commits suicide are very frightening. Psychological problems can remain hidden for a long time until one day something happens.
Worries about anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts or other mental health concerns should be communicated so you can get the help you need.